Don't Call Me Bae
by Queen Reverie
Summary: Emperor Awesome tries his best to persuade Sylvia to date him, but the Zbornak just won't have it.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Wander Over Yonder or other relating characters.**

* * *

"I already told you; You can't handle _this_." Sylvia ran her hand in front of her with her other arm crossed over her body.

"Come on, Bae, don't be like that."

"Don't call me Bae."

Emperor Awesome flexed his muscles in front of her, quickly spinning around so he could flex his glutes for her. "The real question is, can you handle," he slapped his rear, "All this."

Sylvia made a gagging sound as she covered her eyes. "Ugh, I don't think I want to."

"No woman could resist me. It must be killing you on the inside."

"I'll live." Sylvia leaned against the wall behind her and gave an aggravated sigh.

"Okay, look, Becca-"

"Sylvia."

"Right, Sylvia." Awesome scooted closer to Sylvia and placed an arm around her shoulder. "Just imagine. Me. You. The entire universe could be ours."

* * *

" _Let's get awesome!"_

 _Emperor Awesome danced his way out of his spaceship, surrounded by his Fist Fighters as the music blared loudly. "Emperor Awesome is in the house!" He shouted to the terrified inhabitants of the planet below. "Who's ready to become part of the awesomest evil empire in the universe?!"_

 _The resident aliens continued to run for cover as they screamed for their loved ones._

" _But first. It's time to meet my queen, my Bae, Empress Awesome!"_

 _Sylvia exited the ship, dancing while spinning glow sticks in her hands._

* * *

Sylvia slapped her hand over Awesome's mouth. "Let me stop you right there. I don't dance."

"You can't fool me, S, you were revved up and ready to go at my last planet-destroying party. And your outfit was on point too."

"Please don't remind me." She hated those clothing; only donning them to get close enough to Awesome to stop him that day.

"Think about it. You can't see it?

Sylvia pushed Awesome's arm off of her. "Oh I can see it alright."

* * *

 _Sylvia covered her ears with her pillow, trying to sleep. The music blared loudly outside the doors of her bedroom, causing the entire room to shake as the bass pumped louder and louder._

 _Her eyes snapped wide-open, revealing their exhausted and blood-shot state as Awesome slammed the bedroom door open._

"' _Sup…Bae…" Awesome slurred as he entered the room. He put one foot forward and immediately collapsed on the floor._

 _Sylvia sat up, watching as the shark tried once more to get into a standing position._

 _Awesome grabbed the edge of the doorframe only to immediately double-over into the hallway and proceed to vomit all the drinks he had just consumed. He staggered back into the room before collapsing once more onto the floor, out cold._

 _The Fist Fighters whom had followed him into the room from the party immediately began grabbing at him in an attempt to drag him into the bed._

 _With a sigh, Sylvia got up, grabbing both her pillow and the comforter from the bed. "I'll be on the couch if any of you need me." She left the room with the large blanket dragging behind her._

* * *

"That's totally not cool." Awesome ran a hand over his smooth, perfectly tanned, head. "I would never party without my Bae."

"Don't call me Bae."

Awesome's grin immediately dropped into a frown, unable to take yet another rejection from the zbornak. "I'm the future emperor of the universe! Women throw themselves at my feet, begging to worship the ground I walk on!"

"That's what the last evil ruler I was with said."

"Last evil ruler?" Awesome asked, his face suddenly scrunched in ager and jealousy. "You were with another evil ruler!?"

Sylvia smiled, knowing she could set off all if not most of Awesome's buttons. "Yeah, almost married him too."

"Who?!" Awesome dropped his hip demeanor as he shouted.

"Lord Hater." Sylvia examined the nails on her hand with a sly smirk. She knew her cool act was only enraging Awesome further.

"You almost married that loser! That idiot is nothing more than an overgrown kid!" Awesome continued to shout, unaware of the irony of his sentence.

"Yeah, but…well…how do I say this?" Sylvia pretended to struggle to find the right words. "His empire is bigger than yours. And size does matter...if you get my drift." She gave Awesome a nudge with her elbow as she winked.

Awesome's massive ego seemed to deflate as Sylvia continued to speak.

"Yeah, but I left him on the altar. He was only a four, and well, when you're a ten…you have to think about all your options." Sure, the story didn't exactly happen as she stated, but Awesome didn't need to know.

"So you agree," Awesome suddenly stood tall. "You and I would be great together."

"What?" She had no recollection of saying anything along those lines.

"You're a ten, I'm a ten." Awesome flexed his biceps once more as he reached over and wrapped his arm around Sylvia's waist, pulling her closer to him. "And like you said, you have to consider _all_ your options. We could get together and have some awesome ten children. They'd have way more swag than any of Hater's stupid kids."

"Please don't ever use that word again." Sylvia pushed the shark king away from her once more.

"When you pump this hard, you've got to own it." Awesome flexed his calves this time while shaking his behind.

A loud flushing sound emanated from the door behind them, followed by the sound of a sink running. The door opened to reveal Wander, drying his hands with some paper towels. "Thank you for letting me use your little gentlemen's room." The star nomad tipped his hat in Awesome's direction. "It was mighty nice of you."

"Yeah, sure bro, whatever." Awesome turned his attention back to Sylvia. "Why don't you stay for dinner, Bae? Then maybe some dancing afterwards, and if you're still up for it, a little…fun in the moonlight?" He waggled his eyebrows in the zbornak's direction.

"You know, I'd love to stay, but…" Sylvia grabbed Wander's shoulders and turned him away from the conversation towards the exit "We've got to wash Wander's fur!"

"It shouldn't take that long," Awesome reasoned, "We could have a late dinner-"

"Every piece! We're washing every strand of fur individually to give it that…really neat shine." Sylvia struggled to sound truthful underneath the nervous sweat.

"Really?!" Wander asked excitedly, completely oblivious to the tension between the two. "I love getting all neat and clean!"

"Yes, right, he does!" Sylvia pointed to Wander once more before grabbing his shoulders and marching him away from Emperor Awesome. "It was nice chatting with you, thanks for letting us rest up, we'll have dinner next time, later!" She said all in one breath.

Awesome's smile widened as he struck a pose, pointing at the traveling pair. "I'll hit you up later then, Bae."

"Don't call me Bae!"

* * *

"Wander, next time please use the bathroom before we leave for another planet!" Sylvia spoke to the orange nomad on her back.

"But I didn't need to use the bathroom then!" He responded. "I needed to use it after we left. Besides, what's wrong with Emperor Awesome's ship? It was right there! And he's a nice guy, don't you think?"

"Yeah, real nice." Sylvia rolled her eyes at Wander's over friendly nature. Awesome could hold a gun to his head and he still would only see the good in him.

* * *

"Lord Hater, Sir!" Commander Peepers stood at attention before the cloaked skeleton. "We're receiving an incoming call from Emperor Awesome!"

"Awesome!" Hater declared with disgust. "What does that loser want?"

"No clue sir."

"Just let it go to voicemail." Hater waved his second-hand man off. Awesome probably just wanted to show off his muscles or tan again.

"He's called three times in a row sir. He's being awfully persistent today."

Hater gave an aggravated sigh. "Fine, put him on the screen."

"Hater, brah, how's it hangin'?" Awesome sat with his feet up on his control panel, flexing his arms in front of the screen for Hater to see.

"What do you want?" Hater drummed his fingers on his armchair impatiently.

"Listen here, little man!" Awesome dropped his cool cover in a flash. "If I ever see you near my Bae, I'm going to rip you a new one! Got it!? You ain't got the skills or the swag," He flexed in another position, "To handle her."

Hater and Peepers gave each other confused looks.

"She's a ten and you," Awesome gave a hater condescending look-over, "Are given way more credit than you deserve. I'd say you're a two at best. Are we clear, brah?"

"What are you even saying!?" Hater shouted back. "Can you talk like a normal person!?"

"I'll make it clear for ya, bro. Mess with my girl and your face is going to have a little meeting with my right and left-hand men, Mr. Muscles," Awesome kissed his right bicep, "And Mr. Pain." He kissed his left bicep. "Later loser."

Both Peepers and Hater stared at the blank screen in silence.

"What was that about?" Peeper asked, curious as to what mess Hater could have gotten himself into with the party prince of the universe.

"No idea."

* * *

 **That's it, hope you liked it!**

 **I've recently finished season one and I love this show! I can't wait for season two!**

 **Review please!**


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